Everyday the Valduggery Way
by Flaring Rhythm
Summary: Everyday in our lives is usually the same, boring thing. But when you throw in some magic, a skeleton and some strange friends, it makes the days more...interesting. Lets just hope the police don't catch us anytime soon... Valduggery, Ghanith
1. darn revision

Chapter 1- darn revision

Valkyrie Cain sat and looked at the pile of textbooks on her desk. She could not in a million years do this. She banged her head on the table. This was not fun. She slumped over to her bed and fell onto it. She hadn't slept since the night before last night so she could revise and it didn't help. She burst into tears.

This is so stupid

_I'm so stupid_

_Why am I crying?_

She knew why she was crying. She was tired. She hadn't slept. The pressure was really getting to her. She walked over to her bed and slumped onto it. After a minuet or so she slipped of it and landed with a thump. She groaned. she really couldn't be bothered getting back onto the bed. Instead, she slid under the bed. It was nice down here. Dark. She didn't need to worry about magic, or fights with grown people, or exams. She groaned again and put her head in her hands and started to cry all over again.

'Darn revision' she muttered

She didn't hear him come in; she just felt the bony hand around her shoulder.

'Valkyrie? Are you alright?

'Yes, i'm perfectly fine'

'Why are you crying?'

'I am not' she said defensively trying to choke back the tears

'Yes you are. What's wrong?'

'NOTHING'

'Valkyrie…..'

'FINE-icantdomyrevisionbecause idontknowanythingbecauseiwasntthereforanyofit.

She put her head back in her hands again and tried to hide her tears. Skulduggery sighed. He sounded sorry for her.

'Do you want me to help you?'

She turned to him and realised he was lying on his stomach beside the bed so he could look at her

She wiped her tears away

'y-you'd do that for me?'

'Of course I would' she smiled

'Thank you'

'You're very welcome'.

He helped her out from under the bed

'Why were you under the bed anyway? Skulduggery asked

'I…uh…fell of it and wasn't bothered to get back up'

'Most people tend to get back on the bed instead of roll under'

'Yes well i'm not most people now am I? Besides, you do weirder things'

'Granted. But at least I don't roll of my bed

'You don't sleep'

'That's because i'm so wonderfully amazing

'You're very pleased with yourself aren't you?'

'Exceedingly so'

She rolled her eyes and made her way over to the desk. Skulduggery followed.

'so what first?' skulduggery asked'

'Well, anything but maths'

'Maths it is then'

'What? No! Anything BUT maths. Didn't you just hear me?'

'Yes'

'I hate maths

'Which is exactly why we're starting with maths first, worst out of the way, you know?

Valkyrie sagged. This was not going to be fun. Skulduggery pulled over another chair and they began.

Half way through history skulduggery looked round her room at all the papers and books

'Where do you sleep?' he asked

'Sorry?'

'Where do you sleep? I can hardly make out your bed'

'Oh, right.' She blushed 'I-uh-sleep in that pile of notes over there' she pointed to a pile of papers piled up on the floor like a rug.

Skulduggery nearly laughed.

'Well we'll tidy up your room when you've finished

'Wonderful' she said sarcastically

'Shut up and learn' skulduggery replied hitting her playfully over the head with a textbook. She rolled her eyes.

Skulduggery was a very good teacher, she had to admit it. He was enthusiastic and somehow, made everything seem interesting.

After a whole day of studying and pointless arguments they finally finished and started hitting each other with pillows instead. After an hour of pillow fight and room tidying skulduggery had to go.

'I have to go now' he said

'Will you pick me up tomorrow?'

'Of course'

'Skulduggery?'

'Yes?'

'Thank you'

Skulduggery removed a feather from Valkyries hair and looked at her

'Your welcome kid'

She gave him an unexpected hug which with anyone else, would have made skulduggery pull away but Valkyries hug was welcomed for some reason and he hugged he back.

'see you tomorrow' she grinned'

'Unfortunately' skulduggery sighed (the teasing was clear in his voice)

She hit him on the arm and he turned for the window

'She's a great kid' skulduggery thought to himself as he jumped out of the window


	2. jerk

Chapter two- pointless arguments and egotistical skeletons.

'Jerk'

'Weirdo'

'You're the one who's the skeleton'

'You're the one who can't drive'

'I'm fifteen, skulduggery

'And i'm amazing, Valkyrie

'Shut up'

'Fine'

'I hate you'

'Don't I know it'

'You have a huge ego

'You can see my ego?'

'Shut up'

'You've told me that already'

'Well, i'm telling you it again

'You're so annoying'

'You're more annoying'

'You're most annoying'

'You're more than most annoying'

'There's no such thing'

'There's no such thing as a living skeleton but yet her you stand. Unfortunately'

'Why are we having this argument? Again.'

'You're getting of the subject'

'I don't think there was a subject, just a whole load of insults.

'Well then. You're getting of insults.'

'That doesn't make any sense

'Neither do you.'

'Charming, that is.'

'I'll let you walk away from this is you just admit I have better comebacks than you.

'I drove here'

'I hate you'

'I know'

'I'm never talking to you again'

'Finally'

'Jerk'


	3. victory prize

Chapter three- victory prize

Skulduggery pleasant and Valkyrie Cain chased after each other on a deserted beach on the south end of haggard and it was a beautiful day. They were _meant _to be training.

'I'm way better than you' Valkyrie Cain smirked, hurling a fire ball at skulduggery

'Pfft. You wish Cain' he replied dodging the punch she threw at him

He hurled a blast of concentrated air at her and she fell onto her back laughing.

The idea of the game was they had to pin each other down and count to five in order to win.

Skulduggery ran to her to pin her down but she kicked his legs out from underneath him and he fell on his back beside her. She rolled over and pinned him down by his arms before he could recover.

'I win' she grinned.

'Well Miss Cain' skulduggery said. He was definitely up to something.

'Oh god.'

'We'll just have to celebrate you victorious win by doing this'

Before she could yelp-or get of him for that matter. He blasted air at her and she flew of him and landed on the seat of her shorts. Skulduggery ran for her and scooped her up in his arms. It took Valkyrie a minuet to realise what he was doing, he was going to throw her into the sea.

'Skulduggery pleasant1' she yelped failing to contain her laughter

'Put me down right this second so I can kill you! Again!'

Skulduggery just laughed and before she could hit him he was at the sea and he threw her in. little did he know that she was still holding onto him. She pulled him in with her and they both ended up waist deep in water laughing and splashing each other.

All of a sudden skulduggery went under.

'Skulduggery!' she screamed

'Skulduggery!?' she was worried now. Where was he?

All of a sudden hands wrapped round her waist and she was pulled under. She didn't even have a chance to get a breath because she was laughing too hard. After a while of splashing and hurling insults and fire at each other they finally dragged them selves out of the water soaking wet and laughing.

'That was bracing' skulduggery said lifting the water of himself and letting it go on the sand.

'Did you really have to pull me under though?' Valkyrie asked sceptically

'Of course I did' I was hoping you would drown actually, i'm growing tired of your insults. I think you're emotionally scarring me really.

Valkyrie lifted water of her and threw it at skulduggery.

'You're in for it now' skulduggery said and they started the game all over again

'I'm going to kill you Valkyrie Cain!' skulduggery laughed

'Aww! I love you too skulduggery pleasant!' she laughed sprinting along the beach.

And she really meant it

**Disclaimer- I do not own any of the skulduggery characters-Derek does-not me-Derek. Although I'm sure the cracker creatures have some degree of authority over them…….**


	4. msn

Chapter four- msn

(The napkin squirrel's POV

**Val- Hi!**

**Tanith-hey**

**Val-sup?**

**Tanith-nm-bored**

**Val-same**

'Hey! Your with me, how can you be bored?' skulduggery pleasant was sitting beside Valkyrie reading her messages. They were in Valkyries room. Slowly, Valkyrie turned her head to him.

'Skulduggery, if you don't shut up, I will kill you.'

'I hate to tell you this but i'm alre-

'Severely hurt you then'

'Pfft. You wish' he peered at the screen 'what is this anyway?'

Valkyrie rolled her eyes

'Its msn' she turned to skulduggery who seemed pretty confused-well-for a skeleton.

'What's-?'

'It's an instant messaging site' she interrupted

'Oh-who's Val?

'It's me, skulduggery.'

'Oh. and whose-?'

'Tanith' she glared at him 'shut up and stop reading over me'

Skulduggery just 'harrumphed' and folded his arms

**Tanith- u thur?**

**Val-yeah, sry, I wuz telling of skulduggery **

**Tanith- ha! Is he thur?**

**Val-unfortunately…..**

**Tanith- wat r u guyz doin 2day?**

**Val- I duno**

She turned to skulduggery.

'What _are_ we doing today?'

'Uh…you could show me how to set msn up?'

Valkyrie grinned

'Finally'

**Val-i'm gona show sp how to use msn**

**Tanith- pfft. Gud luk wiv dat**

Valkyrie turned to skulduggery again.

'Phone'

'What?'

Give me your phone'

Why?'

'Do you want msn or not?'

Skulduggery sagged and handed her his phone. The god thing about his phone was that it was an iphone with internet so she could set it up there.

(Skulduggery's POV)

_Why did I ask this? Oh, I know, so she wouldn't get bored. I am such an idiot. _

(General POV)

They spent a good part of the day setting up skulduggery's msn. And arguing.

'What does that-?' skulduggery asked, about to press the off button on Valkyries computer.

'DO NOT touch that' Valkyrie said grabbing his hand 'if you touch that, the computer will turn off.

'Oh'

'You can be really annoying'

'Speak for yourself'

'I have to speak for you too, seeing as you clearly can't.'

'Shut up'

'No'

'Well then, I'll just have to make you'

Skulduggery got of the seat he was sitting on and grabbed a scarf from the door knob on Valkyries wardrobe. He ran up behind her and wrapped it around her mouth before she could squeal. Then he sat on the chair beside her and held her wrists behind her back. She glared at him. The rest of the day consisted of valkyrie kicking skulduggery and hurling abuse at him and skulduggery handcuffing Valkyries hands in front of her. Then it started to get late.

Skulduggery went to get up.

'Don't go' Valkyrie said grabbing his had. They had been sitting on the bed and skulduggery had removed her handcuffs.

'Why? Your parents will be home soon'

Valkyrie looked down

'I-uh-may have forgotten to tell you that they are going to be in France for 3 weeks to supervise the repair of Gordon's villa.'

'Oh-do you want me to stay with you for a bit?'

'Yeah, alright' 'oh, skulduggery?'

'Yes?'

'Thank you'

Skulduggery tilted his head happily and she was sure he smiled.

'Your welcome, kid. '

They sat on the bed beside each other and skulduggery told her stories of people he'd met and places he been and things he'd done. They would sometimes start out dramatic or in suspense but skulduggery would always end up making her laugh. When she was drowsy enough-skulduggery stopped talking and the silence made her fall asleep in his arms. Skulduggery loved spending these nights with her- he felt like the luckiest person in the world to have her.

**Disclaimer- I do not own any of the characters-Derek does. But I do own Valkyries wardrobe and the napkin squirrels.**

**Disclaimer no. 2- I do not own any of the adventures skulduggery told Val about- although I was in one of them-it was the time when-a sod it-never mind.**


	5. party arguement

Chapter five- arguments about parties

'Do I have to go?' Valkyrie Cain whined

'Of course you do' skulduggery pleasant replied

'Why? Its not they're expecting me'

'Valkyrie, it's _your_ eighteenth birthday party, of course they're expecting you.'

'I rather spend it with-'she didn't finish. She knew she'd said too much. Skulduggery tilted his head

'You'd rather spend it with...?

'You' she mumbled

He was silent for a while.

'That is really sweet valkyrie' he said and she was sure she saw his skeleton smile widen

'I promise I'll spend the rest of the day with you-after your party. You'll have loads of fun.'

'Yeah right, if I had to have a birthday party I'd invite you and Tanith and ghastly and I really wouldn't want to invite Fletcher but he'd probably turn up anyway'

Skulduggery snorted

'Well you can spend most of the day with us but party first.'

She sagged.

'I hate you'

'I know'

'Cant I just send my reflection?'

'No, you have to go, not your reflection.

'Please?' she put on her best puppy eyes

'Do not do that valkyrie' he said turning his head away from her'

'I'm a sucker to puppy eyes' she frowned

'I thought when Tanith did them they didn't work?'

'It's only your puppy eyes that work' he muttered

She grinned

'Please please please please?' she smiled

'No, it's only a couple of hours tomorrow morning anyway, it won't kill you.

She folded her arms and didn't reply

'Are you sulking now?'

'Yes' she replied icily

'Ok. Go to sleep.'

They were lying on Valkyries bed and it was late at night. She'd asked him to stay because shed been having a terrifying dream at the moment. She muttered something about annoying skeletons and then she closed her eyes.

'Skulduggery?' Valkyrie asked, her eyes still closed.

'Mmm?'

'Thank you'

'Your very welcome kid'

**The next chapter is about Valkyries birthday party! It'll be really gud! Promise!**


	6. birthdays,love bangles,and baby videos

CHAPTER SIX- BIRTHDAYS, LOVE BANGLES, AND BABY VIDEOS

When Valkyrie Cain woke up, the first thing she did was moan. She didn't like birthday parties- she never had. The idea of having one just wasn't her idea of fun. Her idea of fun was fighting monsters and hitting people with her best friend and partner in crime-skulduggery pleasant. She grinned-maybe it wasn't going to be such a bad idea after all. She got to spend the rest of the day with her _other_ family. Well, they seemed like family to her. She got out of bed and got a shower. Then she remembered the discussion skulduggery and she had had the night before and she sagged. Skulduggery had told (a.k.a forced)her to wear a dress because he had explained that seeing as its her eighteenth she had to look like a responsible young woman instead of a tearaway partner to a skeleton detective with impeccable dress sense. She had just rolled her eyes at him and not complained too much but now the day was upon her, she had different feelings for the only dress she owned. She stood glaring at herself in the mirror for a whole 10 minutes before her mother called her down to greet her first guests. Just as she was about to go out the door, she heard a tap on the window. She grinned and turned to the window. Skulduggery was perched on her window sill and she was sure that she saw his skeleton grin widen. She opened the window and he climbed through. She didn't know why but she launched herself into his arms and to _her _surprise, he hugged her back and laughed.

'Good morning' he laughed

'Hey'

'Happy birthday, you look beautiful' she sagged

'Im wearin the freakin dress. Happy now?' he chuckled at her agitation

'Very'

'What are you doing here? Couldn't keep away from me?' she joked.

'If that were the case I would have killed myself by now. She scowled. 'But thankfully that isn't the case. I have something for you' he produced a purple velvet box the size of her palm and handed it to her. She looked up at him

'This is for me?' she whispered (she was afraid her voice would crack if she spoke any louder)

'Of course it is, happy birthday Val' she opened the box and nestled in the red cushion was a gold bangle. She looked closer at it and saw the delicate writing engraved.

'Oh skulduggery' she managed to say, before she threw her arms around his neck

'Its so beautiful, thank you'

'You're so welcome' skulduggery said softly. Valkyrie pulled away from him to slide the bangle over her wrist. It was so beautiful, so delicate. A tear swelled up in her eye and rolled down her cheek. She realised what it was. _It was a love bangle. _She felt skulduggery's hand brush against her cheek and wipe away the tear.

'Where did you get this?' she murmured

'If I told you, I'd have to kill you, and I really don't want to'

She laughed, but it sounded more like a sob.

'Come here' skulduggery said softly and pulled her into a hug.

'Why are you crying?'

'Because im so happy' Valkyrie murmured into his jacket.

'Im extremely happy' he said

_Because im with you. He thought. Smiling to himself_

'Stephanie!' her mother called. 'Come on sweetheart!'

Valkyrie sighed and pulled away.

'I've got to go now' she grumbled

'Ok, I'll see you later' skulduggery said, making his way to the window

'Wait!' Valkyrie called grabbing his hand. He turned

'Thank you' she said softly and kissed his cheek

'y-your welcome' skulduggery stuttered. She laughed and let go of his hand.

'go on, got outta here, I'll see you at the pier at 1.00.'

He turned to the window and took one last look at her before he jumped and she braced herself and approached the party.

It wasn't that bad she had to admit, the twins weren't there, for one, and they were shopping. For another, her friends got her some pretty nice things and the talk was casual. After a while, Valkyrie got a little bored and went upstairs to get ready. She let her reflection out of the mirror and then she put on her black clothes and jumped out the window. It wasn't a very nice day, it was dull and wet and cold and she hugged herself tighter in her coat. She stood at the pier and looked out at the sea. It was calm and peaceful. She loved looking at the water. She didn't have to think or worry. She could forget about everything. She felt the bony hands on her shoulders.

'How was the awful thing was some people call a party?' skulduggery asked. She turned to him.

'it was alright, the toxic twins weren't there so that made everything even better'

'That's a relief, to be honest- I thought I was sending you to your death.'

'It did nearly kill me though, so I'll just have to find a suitable punishment for you.' She glared.

'There is no such thing as a suitable punishment for me. Im just too amazing' he replied

'Pfft. I'll just shackle you to Fletcher' Valkyrie grinned. Skulduggery faltered.

'What are we doing today?' Valkyrie asked

'Well ghastly is in London making a suit for someone or something. And tanith will be round later but for now she sent you this' she didn't realise he'd been holding something in his hand until he gave it to her. It was quite thin and wrapped with blue sparkly paper. She smiled and opened it, and laughed. It was a framed photo of her, tanith, ghastly, Fletcher and skulduggery. Valkyrie was in the middle beside Fletcher and skulduggery and tanith had their arms around her. Ghastly was behind Valkyrie with his arms around skulduggery and tanith. Fletcher had his arms around tanith and Valkyrie. They where all grinning and Fletcher was doing the peace sign, tanith had her tongue out, ghastly was rolling his eyes, and Valkyrie was laughing. Skulduggery's grin seemed wider. They where all squashed together to fit in the photo's lenses.

_This is my family Valkyrie thought. This is my perfect family. _

She heard skulduggery laughing softly behind her. She grinned.

'Ok then, seeing as it's just us two for now, what about going to Gordon's? Valkyrie suggested.

'Perfect.' Skulduggery replied. 'Oh, by the way, when are you moving_ into_ Gordon's?' she smiled.

'Tomorrow.'

'Good, let's go then'

They made their way to the Bentley.

By the time they got to Gordon's it was raining again and they ran inside. Skulduggery shook the water from the top of his hat onto valkyries head and she squealed and ran down the hall laughing as skulduggery followed hurling water at her. They finally made it to the living room after chasing each other through the house trying to soak each other by moisturising the air and hurling the water that formed. They collapsed onto the couch.

'Right, Im choosing the movie' Valkyrie smiled and skulduggery groaned

'You'll choose a horror movie. They're boring!' he moaned

'They are not!' Valkyrie protested

'When you live the real thing then it is'

'Pfft, tough, we're watching a horror movie'

They sat and watched 'the village' for a while and Valkyrie ended up squashed up behind skulduggery watching out from behind his back. This amused skulduggery no end but she really didn't care at this moment. This was a really scary movie. After a while she couldn't take it anymore.

'O-ok t-turn it o-o-off' she stammered. Skulduggery chuckled and got up to turn of the DVD.

'I'll choose this time' he announced

'K, I'll go get more popcorn' Valkyrie got up and headed for the kitchen and skulduggery squatted down to look at the many DVD's Gordon had owned. His fingers traced along them and then stopped at one particular. It had a plain black cover and had a sticky label on it which said 'baby videos'. Skulduggery laughed.

'What is it?' Valkyrie called from the kitchen

'You'll never guess what I've found' he called back

Valkyrie came back from the kitchen holding a bowl of popcorn. She stared open mouthed at the DVD he held up.

'Oh my god, don't even dare!' she yelped setting down the bowl of popcorn and diving for him but skulduggery had already put the DVD in and pressed play. She sagged as the tiny baby flickered on and the screen and grinned a wide toothless grin at the camera. Skulduggery laughed.

What do you think we should call her? A man's voice asked.

What about tanith? Another mans voice asked. The camera flickered to Gordon who was staring at the baby in awe.

'No! A woman's voice laughed. 'We are not calling her after anything in your stories Gordon!'

'Ok, ok, your right. What about valkyrie?' there was a squeal of delight from the baby lying in the cot.

'See? She likes it!' Gordon laughed

'We are not calling her valkyrie, Gordon'

The teenage Valkyrie was sitting next to skulduggery on the sofa with her head in her hands laughing and blushing at the video. Skulduggery was laughing.

'You seemed to have known your name ever since you were born!' skulduggery laughed. Valkyrie just blushed redder.

'Shut up!' she moaned 'I am not enjoying this, skulduggery!'

Gordon spoke again, 'ok what about Stephanie?'

'Finally' valkyries mother sighed. The camera went to her. 'A normal name, I like Stephanie, yes, it's nice. Desmond? What do you think?'

'Stephanie's a lovely name. We'll call her Stephanie'

The camera flicked of for a minuet and then back on to show Stephanie toddling along the floor on her feet.

'Oh god' Stephanie moaned

'That's probably the first time you walked' skulduggery commented

'Yeah well, at least I look cute' she snapped

'That you do''

'I still am' she smiled

'You're more evil than cute now'

'Shut up'

The videos continued from the first time she swam to her first word which was not mum or dad.

It was probably in Gordon's house by the look of the eccentric furniture and Valkyrie, her parents and Gordon where all sitting. Gordon was in the background just finishing a phone call.

'Who was that?' Asked Stephanie's father

'oh, it was skulduggery' Gordon replied

'Skulduggewey!' squeaked a small voice

The camera whirled to Stephanie who was sitting on her father's knee grinning up at the camera, her dark eyes wide and a grin on her face, she had two small teeth.

'Oh Desmond!' valkyries mother squealed 'Her first word!'

Skulduggery looked round at Valkyrie who was grinning back at him

'What?' he asked

'My first word was skulduggery'

'Yeah, sorry to disappoint'

'Why?'

'I thought everyone wanted mum or dad as their first word'

'Pfft, no way. I couldn't of had a better first word' she grinned at him and he tilted his head

'Really?'

'Most definitely'

'That's really sweet Val, thanks' skulduggery said softly

'Your very welcome' she grinned and leaned into him and he put his arms around her.

They continued the rest of the day mostly the same, watching movies and family videos and then Valkyrie fell asleep. When she woke up again skulduggery still had his arms round her and he was asleep. Well, meditating. She looked up at him and grinned and looked at the precious words carved on her bangle:

_Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain, forever._

**Lol-sorry if it wuz a bit long! :3**


	7. more than anything

Chapter eight- more than anything

Valkyrie had moved into Gordon's house yesterday and skulduggery had helped her with her stuff. Now she was lying in her bed staring up at the ceiling and thinking.

'Oh bloody hell' she muttered, she had just realised something.

_Im in love she thought. Im in love with a skeleton._

There was a knock on her window. She sat up and looked to the window and her heart started racing. Skulduggery waved at her and she went over to open the window.

'Hi, what are you doing here?' she asked

'Well, I saw your light on and your parents car is gone so I thought I'd just drop by, have you got a minuet. Skulduggery said

'Ive got all night, my parents are in France and won't be back for a couple of weeks' she smiled

_Hell, should I tell him? She thought_

_Hell, should I tell her? He thought_

'Do you want to come out?' he asked her

'Sure' skulduggery held out her hand and she took it and he helped her out onto the roof. They lay there, close beside each other.

'Skulduggery?' Valkyrie asked, looking at the stars.

'Tis my wonderful name'

'What do you think of me as?'

'Hmmm?'

'Like, what do you see me as?' he looked round at her and his voice grew soft

'Valkyrie, I used to see you as my little sister, my best friend, my _closest_ friend, and my partner in crime.'

Valkyries hear fell a little

_Used to? She thought _

'But now,' skulduggery continued 'I see you as all of those things and one more.'

She turned to face him

'What do you see me as now?' she asked

He took an unnecessary breath.

'Now, valkyrie Cain, I love you.' He said, so softly, it was a whisper.

Valkyrie felt her heart overflow with joy. She couldn't speak.

Instead, she wrapped her hand round skulduggery's and squashed herself to him.

'What do you see me as' he asked quietly

'I see you as my best and closest friend, my big brother, my partner, my favourite person in the whole world, and,' she squeezed his hand tighter 'my hero'. She replied resting her head on his shoulder.

'I love you' she whispered, as he put his arms around her 'more than anything'

And they lay in the roof together all night, silently watching the stars and Valkyrie stroked the bangle on her right wrist

'Skulduggery pleasant and valkyrie Cain forever' skulduggery whispered. And they lay silently for the rest of the night holding each other close.

**Lol. I hoped u liked dat. Ive swapped chapter seven with chapter eight and chapter seven is now gonna be chapter 10. Plz give meh some ideas and comment! Thnx to any1 who has already commented! Xo =3 **


	8. fire

Chapter 9- fire

Tanith, ghastly, and skulduggery sprinted out of the burning building which was once a hotel. They were meant to be meeting someone there who could supply them with information for a case but a fire had started in the kitchen and that really screwed up everyone's plans. They got out of the building and tanith let out a panicked gasp and everyone looked at her.

'Valkyrie' was all she was able to get out. Skulduggery spun round looking everywhere for her. She was still inside.

Valkyries POV

We were all sprinting for the doors when a beam fell down. It blocked my exit. I could hardly breathe. Nobody realised what had happened. They kept running.

General POV

'Valkyrie!' skulduggery yelled running towards the building. And then there was an explosion and parts of the building flew everywhere. Valkyrie was gone. He knew she was.

Valkyries POV

I staggered towards the exit but I couldn't go any further. There was smoke in my lungs. It was so _painful._ I collapsed to the ground and looked up just in time to see skulduggery fall to his knees and put his head in his hands. I had one more breathe. One more chance before I have to close my eyes.

'Skulduggery!' she yelled and she saw his head snap up. And then she closed her eyes.

General POV

He sprinted for the remains of the hotel and saw her through the fire. She was crumpled on the floor and he could see the small tear that ran down her cheek. She was unconscious but when he picked her up she managed to get her arms around his neck. He sprinted to the exit holding her in his arms. When they go out into the air he sprinted for the Bentley.

'Ghastly! You drive!' skulduggery barked tossing the keys to him. Tanith and ghastly got in the front and skulduggery carried Valkyrie into the back. They sped towards kenspeckles. Skulduggery pulled valkyries head onto his lap and leaned in close to her.

'Please don't leave me' he whispered into her ear. She kept her eyes closed but put her hand into skulduggery's.

'I promise I will never leave you' she whispered back, barely audible.

'I need you valkyrie Cain' he whispered.

'I need you too skulduggery pleasant' she smiled opening her eyes slightly

'Valkyrie, please, don't close your eyes, just keep talking' skulduggery begged

'Ok, don't worry, im still here' she nearly laughed but then her eyes flickered to her arms and legs and she groaned.

'What's the matter? Are you hurt?' skulduggery asked urgently.

'Id be lying if I said no. kenspeckle is going to kill me' she groaned

'Glad to see you're nearly back to your same moany self' skulduggery managed to joke. She laughed weakly.

Skulduggery looked at her burnt clothes and her bleeding body. She was in pain and bleeding badly, and burnt. This was killing skulduggery to see her like this.

'What do you want to talk about?' he asked, still leaning in and whispering into her ear.

'Anything'

'Ok, when you get better, im going to teach you how to drive'

'Im not sure whether to be insulted or flattered'

'Please go with flattered because when you hit me it really does hurt'

'I'll try and remember that when im hitting you'

'Charming.'

Now we've got that cleared, what now?'

'Well, im going to take you to London'

She frowned.

'Why'

'Because we need more fun, we're not just partners in crime, we should take a holiday and London is a get up and go place, you'd love it.'

'Ive never been to London before' she smiled

'That's good'

'I love you' she smiled.

If skulduggery had a heart he was sure that whatever part he hadn't yet given to Valkyrie yet, had melted.

'I love you too kid.'

And then she closed her eyes and slipped into unconsciousness still holding his hand.

**I promise- at this exact moment I am writing part two chapter ten at this moment-it'll be uploaded in like 10 minutes! = 3**


	9. be brave

Chapter ten-be brave

Skulduggery burst through the double doors of kenspeckle's lab, Valkyrie in his arms. Kenspeckle looked up from his desk and his eyes widened he was up in an instant and he got to work on patching up Valkyrie Cain.

It was 3 hours later when Kenspeckle finally came out of the ward. Skulduggery at collapsed into a plastic chair when Kenspeckle had told him to wait else where and he had thought about one thing. Valkyrie. He loved her. That was clear. He would kill himself if she died. That probably wasn't very clear to everyone but all the same. And he knew that he was never going to let her out of his site again. He loved this danger prone, annoying, intelligent, beautiful, energetic girl and it was going to stay that way forever.

'Valkyrie will be fine but she will have to stay here for 3 weeks at the least.'

'Can I see her?' skulduggery begged

Kenspeckle sighed.

'Very well, but she is asleep now, try not to scare her when she wakes' and with that he shuffled of and skulduggery literally sprinted through to the ward. Valkyrie was asleep. She looked so cute when she slept. He sat on a chair by her bed and waited. Only a couple of minutes later Valkyrie stirred and then her eyes flickered open. She saw skulduggery sitting beside her bed and she grinned

'Skulduggery!' she nearly shrieked and scrambled up onto her knees and clasped her arms around his neck. They didn't say anything for a while, just hugged each other.

'I love you' Valkyrie whispered in skulduggery's ear.

'I love you more'

'Not as much as I love you'

'Not as much as I love _me_'

Valkyrie rolled her eyes

'How do you feel?' skulduggery asked

'Sore, but happy'

'I wouldn't be happy if I had just been in a fire.'

'I'm not happy because of that, i'm happy because i'm with you.'

'Thank you'

'For what?'

'For not dying'

'Your welcome'

Skulduggery laid her down gently on the bed and then sat down close beside her.

'If you ever try to die again, I'll have to shackle you to Fletcher. '

'Oh god'

'Exactly'

'Skulduggery?'

'Yeah?'

'Can I try something?' she asked sitting up

'Well, ok I-'

Before he could finish she grabbed his skull in her hands and pressed her lips to his teeth. She expected it to feel awful but she was surprised. It felt like he had lips and a _face. _

She nearly gasped but kept her composure as she kissed him. Skulduggery put her arms around her waist pulling her closer.

After a minuet she broke the kiss but kept her forehead pressed against his.

'you do realise, after that, I will never be able to keep away from you ever again.' Valkyrie grinned.

'Nobody can keep away from me, i'm wonderful.'

'Pfft'

She screamed and clutched her stomach and fell back onto the bed.

'Valkyrie!? What's wrong?!'

'Nothing, just pain' she grimaced and then the double doors swung open and Kenspeckle marched in and examined her.

'It's the medication' he said at last

'It is causing some kind of spasm. Detective, hold her hand please'

'Why'

'Because this is going to hurt her' he replied filing a syringe with a clear liquid. Skulduggery grabbed Valkyries hand and Valkyrie gasped as Kenspeckle plunged the syringe into her forearm. And as she slipped into unconsciousness once more, she mouthed the words be brave at the pained expression on skulduggery's face (well, as pained at a skeleton can look) and kissed him.

**Lol-hoped u enjoyed dat- any ideas 4 more valduggery?**


	10. puppys and movies

Chapter 11- puppy

Skulduggery pleasant knocked on the door and when Valkyrie Cain opened it, she had a very small black puppy in her arms. Skulduggery tilted his head.

'What is that?' He asked

'What does it look like?' Valkyrie replied

'It looks like puppy'

'Then that's what it is'

Skulduggery sagged.

'Why have you got a dog?'

'Because I was in town the other day and it started following me. It doesn't have a collar so im keeping him'

'Oh gee, this is gonna be fun' skulduggery sighed and stepped inside.

'Why are you here, anyway?' Valkyrie asked, her eyebrows raised.

'Because I love you' skulduggery replied. Valkyrie set down the puppy and put her arms round his neck.

'I _am_ loveable' she said in his ear.

'Of course you are, now what do you want to do?'

'I want to watch a movie and eat popcorn' she replied, still whispering in his ear.

'Very well' skulduggery said and scooped her up in his arms carrying her to the living room.

It was a pretty wet day that threatened thunder and lightening. The wind howled and hit off the window panes. It was a scary effect. It had been a week since Valkyrie had been let out of kenspeckles after the fire. All her burns had cleared up but she constantly had nightmares about it now. they had _planned _to put watch my super ex- girlfriend but they weren't really focused on the screen. They were focused on giving the small puppy snuggled in valkyries lap, a name.

'How old do you reckon it is?' Valkyrie asked, tickling the puppy's stomach.

'About three weeks, it's very tiny.'

'Awww, it's so cute!' Valkyrie cooed

If skulduggery had eyes, he would have rolled them.

'So, what about a name?'

Valkyrie grinned

'What about, skeleton?'

Skulduggery laughed

'It's a little long, don't you think?'

'A little- what about….Uh- midnight?'

'That's nice- I like midnight'

'K then, midnight it is.'

Skulduggery lifted the puppy from valkyries lap and looked at it.

'It_ is_ very cute' he murmured, almost to himself.

'Not as cute as me' Valkyrie added.

'Naturally' he replied and then put his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap.

'Do you like dogs?' Valkyrie asked once she was comfortably seated.

'I love them, especially puppies'

'Oh- I just thought-you know'

'What?'

'I just thought that because you were a skeleton…'

Skulduggery laughed quietly

'No- a dog has ever tried to bite me, im quite good with dogs actually.'

'Really?'

'Oh yes, I never had a dog but I always had a soft spot for them'

'Right, ok. I just thought-'

Skulduggery laughed quietly again and pulled her closer to him.

'I love it when you get things wrong' he murmured in her ear. And she pulled his face to hers and kissed him.


	11. if you say it i will shoot you

Chapter 11- if you say it-I will shoot you.

Tanith low and Valkyrie Cain were sitting in valkyries bedroom in Gordon's mansion.

'So-' tanith said with an evil smile

'What?' Valkyrie replied warily

'You and skulduggery eh?' Valkyrie looked at her with a horror struck face

'What!? How did you know about that?!'

Tanith smirked

'The whole time you were at kenspeckles after the fire he stayed by your bed holding your hand'

'That doesn't prove anything!' Valkyrie squeaked

'_And_ when you got out of kenspeckles we saw you get into skulduggery's car but just before you got in, you kissed him.'

Valkyrie wanted to die.

'Whose we?' valkyrie whispered (this was not going to be good)

Tanith looked a bit sheepish

'Me and ghastly were at a movie round the corner and on our way back round we saw you two' she mumbled

Valkyrie was the one smirking now

'You and ghastly at a movie? together?!' she squealed

'Shut up. We've been going out for a while now. you've only started going out' tanith blushed and then smirked

'Your in lo-'she started

'If you say it-I will shoot you' Valkyrie snapped and then there was a moment of silence and they started discussing ghastly and skulduggery with excited expressions…….


	12. the rsn i dnt lke u is cuz i dont lke u

Chapter 12- the reason I don't like you- is because I don't like you.

'Why won't you go out with meeee?' Fletcher whined throwing another punch

'Because I have a boyfriend and he is better than you' Valkyrie replied hurling another fireball at him.

'Yeah right. Hes a skeleton' he whined waving his hands angrily.

'And I love him' she replied stopping for a second to catch her breathe.

'Just dump him and go out with a human like me'

'I will never ever dump him' Valkyrie scowled lashing a kick into his gut.

Fletcher and Valkyrie had been fighting for the past hour now. It started when Fletcher had found out about skulduggery and Valkyrie being together. It had slipped out when skulduggery had put his arms round her waist and she had put her hand in his and then Fletcher had worked out what was going on and then the cocky remarks and whining and disgusted remarks and teasing had started and then valkyrie had lashed out, out of irritation and her kick had caught him in the groin and then the fight had started. They were in valkyries garden and tanith, ghastly, and skulduggery were sitting on the grass watching them. They didn't try to stop them because they seemed to enjoy watching Fletcher getting his ass kicked. Skulduggery enjoyed this the most, but he also enjoyed the sweet things Valkyrie had blabbed out because of her anger.

'Hes a skeleton!' he emphasised again elbowing her in the ribs

'I don't care about any of that!' Hes the best guy in the world!' she shouted blasting him off the feet with air. He grunted and then collapsed.

'Why don't you like me?' he whined again.

'The reason I don't like you- is because I don't like you' Valkyrie scowled and put her foot on her chest to signal she'd won the fight. And then she turned and sat down beside skulduggery that put his arms around her and kissed the top of your head.

Fletcher sat up and scowled at them both.

'Well if there's any small skeletons running round here in a few years it not my fault' Fletcher shrugged teasingly and that resulted on him getting to kicks in his groin.

**Lol- Im runnin outta ideas here people! Im doin the London thing but not now- my next chapter is dedicated to nerdyskeleton for the Barbie idea. Cheers N.S! **

**: ]**


	13. barbies

Chapter 13- Barbies.

Tanith and Valkyrie were clearing out some of Valkyries old stuff from Valkyries bedroom.

'What is this?' Tanith asked holding up a Nintendo DS.

Valkyrie laughed

'It's a Nintendo' she smiled, remembering that her friends were not children in the 21st century.

'Oh' Tanith said examining it

'Do you want it? Tanith asked again

'Of course'

'K'

They searched through the stuff some more before Tanith spoke again

'Oh wow!' she shrieked.

'What? What is it?! Valkyrie asked- equally loud.

'You've got barbies!' Tanith squeaked holding up a box full of plastic Barbies

Valkyrie stared at Tanith as if she'd just said 'yes, I have a girlfriend and two children'

Tanith frowned.

'What's wrong?' she asked taking a Barbie out and rummaging around for some clothes for it.

'You-you like Barbies?' Valkyrie stammered

'Yeah- I used to have them when I was young.' Tanith replied dressing the Barbie she was holding in a pink dress.

'They had barbies when you were young?' Valkyrie asked still stunned

'Sure- can we dress them up?!' she asked grinning

Any other time Valkyrie would have burst out laughing and said no way but the look on taniths face made her sag and say

'Yeah, ok.'

Tanith squealed with delight and threw a Barbie at her and some clothes for it

They sat for ages dressing barbies and swapping clothes and valkyrie complained about school and Tanith complained about the new twilight movie 'new moon' and they actually had a laugh and then skulduggery walked into the room followed by ghastly and they stared at the both for a minuet and then started to back slowly away

'We can see we're interrupting something here so we're gonna just leave' skulduggery said backing out of the room, which resulted in him getting two Barbies thrown at the back of his skull.


	14. conversations in a london hotel room

Chapter 14- conversations in a hotel room

London was nice. Busy. But that's what she liked. Of course, she thought skulduggery was only saying he was going to take her to London. But, skulduggery being skulduggery, he wasn't bluffing. Valkyrie had sat and laughed for half an hour when skulduggery had told her they were going to London, simply because she couldn't think of anything else to do.

'Valkyrie?' skulduggery called from the other side of her hotel bedroom door.

She groaned and rolled off her bed with a yelp

'Val? Are you alright' skulduggery asked- there was amusement in his voice

'No' she groaned

'What happened?'

'I fell off the bed'

'You seem to do that a lot'

'You seem to be annoying a lot'

'Hush now'

'Go away'

'I'll come in and get you if you don't get up'

'Go awayyyy' she groaned again

The door creaked open and skulduggery came in. Valkyrie was lying on the floor bunched up in her bedcovers- wearing a pair of pyjama shorts and a vest- three metres away from the bed.

'Are you sure you didn't _fling_ _yourself _of the bed?' skulduggery asked-clearly amused.

'I don't know' Valkyrie grumbled 'I vaguely remember having a dream about sky diving…..'

'That solves that then, come on- do you want to see London or stay in your hotel room?'

Valkyrie thought this over for a moment.

'I'm game for both' she concluded

'London it is then' skulduggery replied 'need a hand?' he asked reaching down to her and putting his arms round her waist and lifting her up.

'Thanks' valkyrie mumbled.

'Any time' he said setting her down.

Valkyrie pulled her covers back onto her bed and then made her way to the bathroom to get showered.

'I'll be ready in five!' she called to skulduggery who was heading to the door

'K!' he called back

'Love you' she said, softer this time

'I love you more' skulduggery replied softly and then went back to his room.

10 minutes later Valkyrie was ready and was getting some money and her phone together in a rucksack. Skulduggery had told her she didn't need to wear her protective clothing on the holiday but bring it anyway knowing their luck. She was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a brown leather jacket with a navy hoodie underneath and her new converse (it was -1 outside, it was also winter).

'You ready?' skulduggery asked- peeking his head round the door.

'Yep. Where we headed?' Valkyrie asked

'Well, what about just walking around and going in where we want to?'

'Sounds good'

'Of course it is, it was my idea' skulduggery replied

She rolled her eyes and moved closer to him.

'I love you, but you make it extremely hard to love you sometimes' she muttered putting her arms around his neck

'I'm loveable' skulduggery replied, wrapping his arms around her waist

'And i'm _loved_' Valkyrie grinned, and kissed him.

Valkyrie broke the kiss and smiled at him.

'Ok then' skulduggery stammered (as he always did after something like that)

'Unfortunately, we can't stay here all day kissing, so let's go' skulduggery said taking her hand and leading her out of the room. Valkyrie pulled him back to her again.

'We could you know' Valkyrie murmured in his ear smiling a cheeky grin.

'Later' skulduggery replied- a grin in his voice.

'K' Valkyrie grinned

Skulduggery put his arm around her waist and they walked out onto the streets of London


	15. prophecy

Chapter 15- prophecy

Skulduggery pleasant and Valkyrie Cain walked hand in hand down a busy street in London. Valkyrie didn't care what people thought of her holding hands with a tall man who looked to be twice the age of her. Skulduggery was in his usual disguise and was thinking the exact same thing,

Valkyrie looked up and smiled at him,

'So where are we headed?' she asked. Skulduggery looked down at her and once again, his skeleton grin _definitely_ widened.

'Well, I knew a man about 300 years ago who could see visions of things, prophesies, about the people he met and he painted those prophesies onto canvases so we're going to go to the London national art gallery and see his work.'

Valkyrie grinned

'Sounds good- what was his name?'

'Vincent' skulduggery replied- and he sounded all too serious

Valkyrie decided she didn't want to know anymore. She just nodded and they walked on in silence until they got to a big old building with gargoyles and a doorman.

'This is it' skulduggery said paying the fee and leading her in- still holding her hand.

'It's huge' Valkyrie breathed once they were fully inside. Everything was very grand and silent. No one spoke so they could concentrate on the artwork. It was peaceful.

'Do you want to go and see those paintings I was telling you about?' skulduggery asked

'sure' she replied and skulduggery weaved her through small groups of people admiring paintings until they got to a smaller more subtle room than all the others. There were a lot of small paintings in here and they were all very pretty and very life like. But there was one painting in particular that drew Valkyries attention. It was smaller than the others and not as grand. It was a painting of clouds with a violet and rose pink back ground. Garlands of flowers hung from large trees and petals fell from them. But the thing that caused Valkyrie to gasp and stagger back was the two people on the bed of clouds, kissing.

A dark haired girl with dark eyes and no clothes on sat on the clouds and close beside her an amazingly drawn _skeleton_ sat and they kissed. Along the top of the painting in delicate script was a sentence:

This is the prophesy of Valkyrie Cain and skulduggery pleasant.

'Holy-'Valkyrie breathed- she turned to skulduggery that was looking at the painting and probably had the same confused expression that Valkyrie was wearing

'That explains that then' skulduggery muttered

'Explains what?' Valkyrie demanded.

'well, he uh... only died a couple of years ago and when I told him about you he went all quiet- he must've seen us' skulduggery looked at her before speaking again

'I should probably mention to you that his visions are 100% accurate shouldn't I?' skulduggery said quieter.

Skulduggery was expecting Valkyrie to run out of the museum and leave him forever. After all, he_ was_ a skeleton. Who would want to-?

His thoughts were interrupted by a small laugh and he looked down at Valkyrie. She was smiling a very sly smile. Skulduggery had seen this smile before. She was definitely up to no good.

Then he realised why she was smiling and he was sure he would've been grinning himself if he had flesh. She slipped her hand into him and looked up at him with her beautiful eyes.

'We'll just have to fulfil that prophecy then wont we?' she smiled

Ok, he knew he would definitely be grinning now.

'Of course' he replied and Valkyrie could hear the joy and _shock_ in his voice. After all, who would want to-?

Valkyrie thoughts were interrupted by skulduggery speaking.

'Let's go do something else now huh?' he asked putting one arm around her waist and leading her out of the gallery.

'Sure, what next?' she asked but she wasn't completely present in the real world right now, her thoughts were somewhere else.

'Ok,' she heard skulduggery say 'how about the globe?'

She frowned

'The what?'

'The globe theatre, you know the one where the Shakespeare plays were?'

'Oh yeah!' she smiled- she'd always wanted to go there.

They walked there. It was a nice walk, but cold. Skulduggery kept his arms tight around her the whole time and surprisingly, this kept her warm. They approached the old globe like building and walked through the large double doors. They walked close together in here, hand in hand. There were many crowds and Valkyrie didn't much fancy being carried away in the sea of people so she held skulduggery's hand tight. It was an amazing big building with 100's of seats and a huge thatch roof that didn't meet in the middle.

'I went to see Macbeth first time I went here' skulduggery said as they sauntered around.

Valkyrie stared at him

'What?'

'What what?' skulduggery asked

'What do you mean you went to see Macbeth _first time you were here_?!' Valkyrie demanded

'Well, I _was_ alive when this place was built you know.' Skulduggery shrugged as if he'd just said something very casual and normal

'Seriously?!'

'Yeah sure, I went with ghastly'

Valkyrie just shook her head

They spent the rest of the day wandering around the waxworks museum in the middle of London- skulduggery spent the time in the waxworks museum making fun of the celebrity figures and Valkyrie tried not to smile at his witty comments but she couldn't help it and burst out laughing. After a while they decided to go back to the hotel. On the way they stopped at a shop so Valkyrie could get a packet of crisps. She said she wasn't that hungry. They arrived at the stairs that lead up to their hotel rooms and without warning skulduggery scooped Valkyrie up in his arms and she laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. He put the key in her door and stepped inside. He set her down and before she knew what was happening she had her arms around her neck and his arms were round her waist and they were kissing.

**Hope u liked dat- next chapter is gonna be on in a min- k? Val is 22 now btw. Don't ask how she went from 18 to 22 in just a few chapters. She just did. : D**


	16. best freakin night ever

Chapter 16- fulfilling the prophecy, potions and love

They had been kissing for a while now. That was bloody clear. They weren't sure how long but skulduggery had ended up against the wall and was now taking of Valkyries coat. But he stopped and hung his head. Valkyrie frowned.

'What's wrong?' she asked

'I can't do this to you Val' skulduggery murmured. 'i'm too old and your too young'

Valkyrie laughed softly

'Skulduggery' she took his face in her hands and looked into his empty eye sockets 'I don't care-I don't care what happens- I am deeply and madly in love with you and that is that'

Skulduggery was silent for a moment and then he took a small vile from his pocket. He held it up for her to see the clear liquid contained.

'this, valkyrie, means I can be human for two days and two days only before I return back to this' he gestured to himself 'I will use it now so please don't be shocked at my brilliance'

She laughed and kissed him

'Why didn't you use it before?' she asked

'Valkyrie, I never found a cause good enough to make me want to use this. Until I met you'

She smiled at him

'I love you' she said hugging him tightly

'I love you too' skulduggery said and made his way to the bathroom to take the potion.

He came out 2 minutes exactly later and Valkyrie gasped. He was stunning-amazing. A figure of pure beauty. He had brown tousled hair (like Edward Cullen's btw) and soft violet eyes. he was still the same height but he had muscle and strawberry and cream coloured skin. She went weak at the knees. And then he was beside her- with his strong, protective arms around her waist and their foreheads touching. He smiled a brilliant smile.

He looked to be in his early twenties. The warmth that pulsed around him was better than sitting beside a fire on a freezing cold night.

Then he frowned slightly.

'What is it now?' Valkyrie laughed running her free hand through his gorgeous hair- her other hand was in his. He looked at her with his smouldering eyes before he spoke. His voice was more amazing than when he was skeleton. So smooth.

'What if you-?...' he trailed of and his eyes flickered to her stomach. She understood immediately. She laughed and whispered in his ear.

'I am ready, skulduggery. I don't care if I get pregnant. Because if I do, it will be the most beautiful child in the world.'

He sighed.

'I love you' he smiled. And then he pressed her up against the wall and kissed her. It was the most amazing thing Valkyrie had ever felt. His lips where like velvet. She held onto his hands so she wouldn't fall and then he started to take of her coat.

'Let the prophecy fulfilling begin' he murmured in her ear and she laughed softly and pressed her lips to his again.

_That,_ Valkyrie remembered some time later, _was the best freakin night of my life._

**Lol-next chapter soon! :D**


	17. in the flesh,baby girls, new familys

Chapter 17- man forever

Valkyrie and skulduggery walked through kenspeckle's lab hand in hand. London had been would remember forever. They had done so much, and_ seen_ so much (well, seen more of each other, really). It was amazing. They were in kenspeckle's lab because the minuet they had got back from London they had asked Kenspeckle if he could put his heart into making a potion that would make skulduggery human forever. Kenspeckle shuffled up to them and smiled warmly at Valkyrie

'Hello valkyrie' he smiled and then his smile dropped 'you're here for the potion?'

'Yes' valkyrie nodded

Kenspeckle sighed

'Very well' he handed skulduggery a tube with colourless liquid inside. 'This potion, detective pleasant, took me 6 weeks of work to master. I hope you two have thought this over'

They both nodded.

'You may take this to the bathrooms detective. Good luck'

And he walked of to one of the labs.

Valkyrie took skulduggery's hand and kissed him for quite a while. Then she broke the kiss

'I will always remember my last kiss with the most amazing skeleton in the world' she smiled and hugged him. A tear rolled down her cheek. 'Good luck- I love you more than anything' she smiled

'Valkyrie, I love you with my heart and soul, remember that' skulduggery said softly and kissed her. And then he walked of to the bathrooms.

Valkyrie stood there for a moment watching him walk and then she turned and went into the lab Kenspeckle had walked into. Kenspeckle looked at her and his eyes went soft.

'Have you seen him human before?' Kenspeckle asked

'Yes'

'I thought as much' he said and then wandered of

Valkyrie frowned

_Thought as much?_ What did that mean?

Then she heard footsteps and she turned and saw skulduggery pleasant walk through the double doors. She couldn't help staring for a moment at his beauty before she was swept up into his arms. He kissed her and grinned.

'Hello gorgeous' he said grinning at her. He set her down and put his strong arms around her waist.

Valkyrie grinned up at him. He was even more beautiful the second time she saw him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. When she broke the kiss, she hissed in pain as a sharp pain shot through her stomach. Skulduggery caught her as she staggered back and he set her on one of the medical beds.

'Kenspeckle!' skulduggery shouted 'I need you here!'

Kenspeckle strode into the medical bay walking quickly

'What happened?' he demanded

'There's a sharp pain in my stomach' Valkyrie hissed

Kenspeckle put a stethoscope to Valkyries stomach and after a minuet he nodded.

'Detective? May I speak with you?' Kenspeckle asked

Skulduggery nodded and looked anxiously at Valkyrie as he was lead from the room.

Valkyrie watched them through the glass of the doors. She couldn't hear what they was saying but Kenspeckle asked something and skulduggery looked guilty and nodded slowly

Kenspeckle asked something again and skulduggery shook his head

Again, Kenspeckle asked something and pointed to Valkyrie and skulduggery nodded and looked a Valkyrie.

Kenspeckle looked like he was sighing and he told something to skulduggery and skulduggery's eyes widened and he grinned and nodded quickly and then turned and burst through the doors he had just come through. The pain in Valkyries stomach had stopped now and she was all eager to be in skulduggery's arms again.

'I love you Val' skulduggery sighed happily.

'And I love you, but what's going on?' she demanded

Skulduggery laughed

'Val, I swear to god you better be ready for this'

'For what?' she asked an eyebrow raised

'Valkyrie Cain- you're pregnant.'

Valkyrie was expecting herself to flip and shout and get really angry but she did the opposite. She looked at skulduggery as tears swelled up in her eyes and she felt her heart melt. Her own little baby, with skulduggery pleasant. She was so amazingly happy she wanted to just sit there in his arms and hear that news over and over again forever.

'Oh my god!' she breathed grinning and she jumped of the bed and threw herself into skulduggery's arms resting her head on his shoulder. When she looked up again skulduggery had tears in his eyes. She laughed as her own tears rolled down her cheeks.

'We are going to have the most beautiful baby in the world' Valkyrie smiled.

'I am so glad I met you Valkyrie' skulduggery said with a sincere expression

'I'm so glad I met _you'_ Valkyrie smiled and she reached up to kiss him

'Can we ask Kenspeckle if it's a girl or a boy?' Valkyrie asked grinning

Skulduggery laughed

'I already know' skulduggery smiled 'Kenspeckle told me'

Valkyries eyes widened

'What is it then?' she smiled eagerly pressing her forehead to his.

Skulduggery scooped her up in his arms and they began walking towards the exit, foreheads pressed together

'Girl' skulduggery grinned and pressed his lips to hers

**Hopein u liked dat! If u didn't, tough. But I can change it- plz comment! =3**


	18. reactions and squealing

Chapter 18- reactions

When Valkyrie and skulduggery walked into Gordon's mansion, hand in hand, they did not expect ghastly, Tanith and Fletcher to be waiting for them. They hadn't let on too much about skulduggery's 'transformation'; all they had said was some things had changed. They hadn't spoken a single word about the baby girl but it wasn't going to be hard to realise what had happened because of the small, but very noticeable bump on Valkyries stomach. They stopped in the doorway and they both grinned at all the stunned faces. Ghastly grinned.

'Skulduggery?! Is that you?' ghastly laughed

'In the flesh' skulduggery joked and he gave ghastly a hug with one arm. Still holding onto Valkyries hand with the other. Tanith bounced up to Valkyrie with a huge grin on her face and looked at her stomach and her grin spread wider.

'No way!' Tanith squealed.

Valkyrie sighed

'Yes way' she smiled

'Tell me everything' Tanith demanded and took her hand and started leading her up the stairs. Valkyrie rolled her eyes and let go of skulduggery's hand and allowed her to be dragged to her bedroom. She looked back in time to see Fletcher scowl at her.

They sat in Valkyries bedroom for over an hour and Tanith had forced Valkyrie to tell her everything. She had squealed when she heard the baby was a girl and then they had discussed names. Then Tanith said she was gonna go and get something to eat and Valkyrie decided she couldn't be bothered going down to get food, even though she was starving. She sat on the bed and played with her bangle. She was so glad her friends had been so chilled about the baby. Ghastly had given her a big hug and grinned at her and told her congratulations and Tanith had just gone into crazy mode. Fletcher, on the other hand had scowled and looked at her like he wasn't pleased with this at all.

There was a knock on her door and skulduggery walked in with a bar of chocolate in his hand. He sat on the bed beside her and smiled.

'Want some chocolate?' he asked gesturing to the bar

'Yeah sure' she laughed 'I see you've discovered chocolate then'

Skulduggery waved his hand dismissively

'There was chocolate last time I was alive- it's just nice to eat it again' he shrugged and then set the bar of chocolate down to put his hands on Valkyries stomach.

'And Hows are beautiful baby?' he grinned

'She's fine- although she's nameless and knowing our luck she'll have our personality so she's probably getting impatient waiting for a name.'

Skulduggery laughed and then turned to her. He raised an eyebrow.

'_Our_ personality?' he asked

'Well, ive developed your dam personality so we technically_ share_ one now'

Skulduggery laughed

'That, dear valkyrie is all too true. Do you want to go down stairs?'

Valkyrie sighed

'I suppose so' she smiled and took his face in her hands and kissed him. He smiled.

'I never quite get over how good a kisser you are.' Skulduggery winked and Valkyrie winked back and then skulduggery helped her up and they started down the stairs hand in hand.


	19. olivia

Chapter 19- beautiful

Valkyrie, skulduggery, Tanith, ghastly, and Fletcher were sitting in Gordon's big living room. They still hadn't decided on a name for the baby which was due in 1 week. Valkyrie sat in a pair of her old shorts and one of skulduggery's shirts because her clothes didn't fit her because she was carrying a baby. She tried not to look at the killer glares Fletcher was giving her. She concluded it was because she was in skulduggery's arms and he was running his hands through her hair. She didn't want to put the blame on the baby. Skulduggery saw her looking over at Fletcher anxiously and he sighed and turned to Fletcher.

'Fletcher, would you _please _stop looking at Valkyrie like you're trying to _kill_ her with your glares. It's not fair on her.' Skulduggery demanded

Fletcher turned and started glaring at skulduggery instead. Skulduggery ignored him and turned his attention back to Valkyrie. Valkyrie put her head on his shoulder and looked up at him.

'What do you think we should call her?' skulduggery asked putting his warm hands on her stomach.

'I really don't know' Valkyrie shrugged

'What about... Hmm- Olivia?' skulduggery asked

Valkyrie smiled

'Olivia's a beautiful name-how'd you think that one up?' she asked

'I don't know actually- it just came into my head'

Valkyries smile turned soft

'It sounds perfect'

'Of course it does'

She rolled her eyes

'Hey Tanith?' Valkyrie called to Tanith who was meant to look like she was reading a book but she was actually holding ghastly's hand and smiling at him. Tanith looked up.

'We've chosen a name for her' skulduggery smiled

Tanith beamed

'Really?! What is it?' she asked eagerly

'Olivia' Valkyrie and skulduggery said in unison

'Aww!' Tanith squealed 'that is such a pretty name!'

'For such a beautiful baby' skulduggery grinned and valkyrie leaned into him


	20. perfect

Chapter 20- perfect

They sat on the roof of Gordon's estate and looked out at the sunset, All five of them - even Fletcher. He got over the fact that Valkyrie just wasn't into him and he had to admit, that Olivia was a very cute baby. She had been born a week ago and was healthy and perfect. Ghastly, Tanith, Fletcher, skulduggery, and Valkyrie sat dotted over the roof in pairs, except Fletcher who just sat gazing at the small and perfect baby in Valkyries arms. He wondered if another girl would ever join what Valkyrie had called 'her family'

Skulduggery and Valkyrie sat looking at the setting sun. It was beautiful. Skulduggery sat gazing at Valkyrie. This, any other day, would have annoyed Valkyrie no end, but today, she felt like she should let him look at her. She felt like something was going to happen. Skulduggery put his arms around her and Olivia. Valkyrie put her head on his shoulder and held onto the sleeping Olivia tightly with one arm so she could put her hand in skulduggery's. Someone came up behind them and tapped Valkyrie on the shoulder. Valkyrie turned and smiled at Tanith.

'Val, we're gonna head in now its getting late' Tanith smiled and nodded an almost unnoticeable nod to skulduggery.

'Sure that's fine' Valkyrie smiled

'Do you want me to take Olivia?' Tanith asked looking at Olivia longingly (she had grown very attached to her in a week)

Valkyrie nodded and handed her over to Tanith gently so she wouldn't wake. She looked so much like both of them, with skulduggery's big pale violet eyes and Valkyries dark hair. Her skin was a mixture of both of theirs. Se had Valkyries pale skin with an overtone of skulduggery's strawberries and cream. She was perfect. Before she could think about anything else skulduggery's lips where pressed to hers. She didn't realise they where standing until he broke the kiss.

Skulduggery took one of her hands in his and put his other on her waist. She rested her free hand on his shoulder. She noted how perfectly she fitted in his arms. They started dancing slowly to no music. She smiled up at him and put her head onto his chest. He ran his hand through her hair. He loved her hair for some reason.

'Skulduggery?' Valkyrie asked

'Indeed?'

'Do you think Fletcher hates me now?' Valkyrie mumbled into his chest.

'Fletcher does not hate you- he hates me. He didn't like the fact that I had you and not he didn't but he really is growing fond of Olivia. He does not hate you Valkyrie. We all love you. _'I_ am crazy about you'

'Ok' she mumbled again the smiled at him

'I love you valkyrie'

'I love you too skulduggery' Valkyrie smiled and put her head back on his chest and intertwined the fingers of their right hands.

'Valkyrie?'

'Yeah?' she asked running her free hand through his hair.

'Will you marry me?'

Valkyrie looked up at his face which was completely sincere and happy and his beautiful eyes and smile gleaming at her. Then she looked at the hand he was holding up and at the diamond ring nestled in the violet box. She looked back to his face and smiled as tears rolled down her cheeks.

'Yes! Of course I will!' she threw her arms around his neck and he grinned and picked her up and twirled her and then he set her down and kissed her. After a minuet he broke the kiss and slipped the ring on her left index finger. It was so beautiful.

'I hope you realise you're stuck with me forever?' skulduggery asked wrapping his arms around her waist.

Valkyrie sighed then smiled.

'I guess I'll just have to live with that' and then she pulled him in and kissed him.

This night was perfect.

**Hope u likeyed dat! Plz comment- any ideas for the next one??? : )**


	21. i do

Chapter 21- I do

'Valkyrie, take three deep breathes' china demanded taking hold of her shoulders. Valkyrie nodded and took three breathes while Tanith tugged at her dress and fetched Valkyrie her bouquet.

'Oh hell' Valkyrie muttered

'What is it?' Tanith asked handing her her bouquet.

'I'm about to get married Tanith' Valkyrie said.

'Yeah, but to like, the hottest guy in the world!'

Valkyrie had to giggle at this

China rolled her eyes

'Four year olds' she muttered and then louder, 'come on Val! Skulduggery's waiting out there!'

Valkyrie took another deep breath. Somebody tapped her on the shoulder, ghastly. He grinned at her.

'Good luck kid' he smiled and pulled her in for a hug. Valkyrie thought it would be a brief and awkward hug but he seemed happy for them and he hugged her for a while and then grinned. it wasn't awkward at all. Ghastly made his way to his seat. He was meant to be best man but he had said he was to shy so the best man was….- Fletcher appeared out of nowhere and grinned at her.

'You look gorgeous Val' he smiled

Valkyrie grinned at him

'Thanks, nice suit' Valkyrie commented blushing at his compliment

'The best man has to look his best' Fletcher shrugged

Valkyrie rolled her eyes

Fletcher pulled her in for a long hug and then kissed her cheek and blushed. She laughed and he took her arm as the music started.

Because her father and mother couldn't be there, her father could not take her down the isle, so Fletcher agreed to do it. She saw a small tear roll down his cheek and she wiped it away and squeezed his hand. Her two bridesmaids, china and Tanith walked down the isle first and then Fletcher winked at her and they started into the church. All of a sudden, her nerves left her, she could see him, skulduggery was standing at the alter in his tuxedo, his dark hair wild and carefully untamed, his beautiful eyes were gleaming and he was grinning at her. She smiled back. This was it. All she had to do was say her vows and kiss him and they were each others forever

_She is so beautiful_ skulduggery thought, _too beautiful for words_.

Fletcher winked at her again and placed her hand in skulduggery's. She smiled at him and caught the tear as it rolled down his cheek. The rest went by in a blur. They said their vows and then they were at the precious two words.

'and Valkyrie Cain?' do you take skulduggery pleasant to be your lawfully wedded husband?' Valkyrie felt the tear come down her cheek.

'I do' she smiled

'And skulduggery pleasant? Do you take Valkyrie Cain to be your lawfully wedded wife?'

Skulduggery smiled and nodded

'I do' he said softly

'Then you may now kiss the bride' the minister smiled and skulduggery put his arms around Valkyries waist and Valkyrie flung her arms, bouquet and all, around his neck and he kissed her. Then there was a roar of applaud and cheering and Valkyrie tossed her bouquet and ghastly caught it and Tanith blushed when he looked over to her and grinned. Valkyrie broke the kiss and pressed her forehead to his and they hugged and Valkyrie winked at Fletcher sitting in the front row with her baby Olivia perched on his lap clapping and laughing. And then skulduggery grabbed her hand and they ran down the isle hands intertwined laughing and they got outside where they stopped to kiss again.

**Lol! Hope that was good! I need ideas for a honeymoon!!! Plz review!**


	22. christmas with parents

Chapter six- Christmas Eve, parents, and sneaking in.

'Skulduggery?' Valkyrie asked turning her torso to him. They were in the Bentley.

Skulduggery turned to her and smirked

'Yes?' he asked dragging out the word. He was up to something but Valkyrie ignored his mood for now. She was up to something of her own.

'You know the way i'm spending a few days with my parents at Christmas???' Valkyrie smiled

'Of course I do- I spent a whole day making you go.'

Valkyrie huffed.

'Well- can you come as well?' Valkyrie begged doing her best puppy eyes.

Skulduggery sagged- he grabbed every minuet he could spend with this woman but she mocked him when she got her way (which was all the time). Besides, he _did_ like spending his nights with her…..

'I dunno Val- your parents wouldn't be too pleased if you arrived on the doorstep with a wedding ring on and a baby in your arm and a gorgeous man with the other wedding ring on standing beside you- probably most definitely with his arms around you.'

Valkyrie had to laugh.

'Please skulduggery?! We'll take the wedding rings of and Tanith can babysit Olivia??? Please?' she did her puppy dog eyes again. Skulduggery stopped the Bentley and sighed. He got out and then walked round to open the door for her. She got out.

'Please?' she begged again, taking a step closer to him. This always worked.

Skulduggery sighed.

'Fine- ask your parents' he rolled his eyes and grinned

Valkyrie squealed with excitement and kissed him.

Whatever doubt skulduggery had had before- had just gone.

They walked into Valkyries bedroom (now Valkyrie and skulduggery's bedroom- he had moved in) and put together some clothes for going to meet the parents. Valkyrie had just got of the phone with her mother who had squealed excitedly and said she was desperate to finally meet skulduggery and that she was delighted that they were together- and then she added something that Valkyrie thought her mother would never say to her- even though this pleased her-

' i'm not surprised you like that man- when I saw him in the solicitors office I immediately thought of you- you can both sleep in your room.'

Valkyrie had laughed and said that was great and the moment she was of the phone she jumped into skulduggery's arms and told him everything.


	23. meeting parents

Chapter 23- parents and Angus

'Why are we doing this?' Valkyrie whined

'I think we're doing this because, oh, I don't know, you told your parents you were going to see them, you told them I was going to meet them, its Christmas, I _made _you go and see them, you made _me_ go and see them too. Something along those lines.' Skulduggery grinned at her.

Valkyrie scowled

They were driving through haggard in the Bentley and receiving curious looks from passers by. Unfortunately, there were lots of passers by.

Everyone in haggard hadn't seen valkyrie in _years_- and when they had- she had been in that Bentley with a man who kept himself covered up- but to see her years later, _yet again_ with this man- was _weird. _

Valkyrie really wanted to bang her head of a table right about now.

What made things even worse was that skulduggery was making her wear a dress. It was black and just above her knees and pretty but she didn't like it when skulduggery got his way. It was annoying. They pulled up at the pier and skulduggery got out and walked round to open Valkyries door.

'I think I have dé'jàvu' Valkyrie smiled; remembering the many times she had met skulduggery at this pier. Skulduggery laughed.

'I think I have dé'jàvu too.' He laughed and then went round to the boot to get their bag out.

'I still don't see why we cant just break into a sprint right now and run all the way home and hide under a blanket until my parents forget who I am' valkyrie suggested.

Skulduggery thought this over.

'That does sound tempting but I don't think your parents would appreciate it' skulduggery remarked putting his hand in hers and pulling her close to him.

She sagged and let him lead her up the road.

'Wish me luck' Valkyrie sighed knocking on the door.

'Valkyrie, they already love you- now we need to concentrate on them loving me' he grinned

'Just remember to call me Stephanie ok- oh hell! The rings! We forgot to take them off!'

Skulduggery took her left hand in his and slipped of the rig- then he took of his.

Just then Valkyries mother opened the door and a wide grin spread across her face.

'Stephanie!' she squealed and gave Stephanie a hug. Valkyrie grinned

'Hi mum!' Valkyrie giggled

'Hi skulduggery! It's lovely to finally meet you in person!' Valkyries mother grinned and gave skulduggery a hug

'It's great to meet you too Mrs Edgley' skulduggery grinned and winked and Valkyrie who giggled

'Stephanie- you cousins are here too by the way' Valkyrie mother smiled and then laughed at Valkyrie horror suck expression

'Don't worry their your cousins from England' Melissa smiled

Valkyrie relaxed. Her cousins from England were her cousins from her mothers side- unfortunately- that included her cousin angus who still had a crush on her- she couldn't wait to tell skulduggery about that- angus was annoying and stuck up and mean so skulduggery and her would have some fun with that.

'Come in you too!' its freezing out here' Mellissa beckoned them in.

Valkyrie dad rounded the corner and grinned at them as they stepped into the house

'Stephanie!' he laughed and enveloped her in a hug and then shook skulduggery's hand.

Valkyrie led skulduggery over to the sofa and they both sat down. Valkyries mother and father went into the kitchen to get some drink and this gave Valkyrie an opportunity to tell skulduggery about Angus. Skulduggery laughed

The next hour went with ease. They sat and talked and Valkyrie introduced skulduggery to her cousins and auntie and uncle and then Stephanie's mother said they were all going out for tea and would skulduggery and Valkyrie like to come.

Valkyrie had faked a yawn and said she was tired and wanted to stay home. Skulduggery had said he'd stay with her. Once her parents and cousins were gone skulduggery went over to the sofa and pulled Valkyrie onto his lap.

'We're going to have to act innocent for your parents and cousins' skulduggery sighed mockingly.

Valkyrie scowled and then smiled playfully.

'Then we can be bad?' she giggled

'Of course' skulduggery grinned and Valkyrie turned on the TV. They sat and watched 'wall-e' laughing childishly at it then they fell asleep half way through.

The door opened and Stephanie's parents and cousins walked through into the living room laughing and hushing each other when they saw Valkyrie curled up asleep against skulduggery, he was also asleep. They all bustled into the kitchen, closing the door after them to get some coffee. Angus didn't follow. Instead, he walked over to skulduggery and punched him on the arm. He hated skulduggery already- he would never admit it but he was jealous of him. He had to prove himself to Valkyrie without backstabbing or lying- just a little showing of.

'Oi, skulduggery' Angus said punching skulduggery on the arm again

Skulduggery's eyes flickered open. He smirked when he realised Valkyrie was curled up on his lap.

'Yes?' he asked smugly-acting slightly like Fletcher.

'I'm gonna take Stephanie up to bed, give her to me' Angus sneered

'Its alright- I'll take her up' skulduggery smiled innocently and gently eased Valkyrie off his lap. He stood up and slipped her into his arms with ease. He started towards the stairs and then Valkyrie stirred and opened her eyes. She smiled at skulduggery and then noticed Angus glaring at them. Valkyrie decided to take advantage of his glares so she reached up and wrapped her arms around skulduggery's neck and kissed him. Skulduggery winked at her and she giggled then yawned. Skulduggery got up the stairs and to keep up the act he asked

'Where's your room steph?'

Valkyrie nearly laughed

'It's uh second on the left' Valkyrie giggled

'Good' skulduggery smiled and opened the door to her room.

He set Valkyrie on the bed and then he drew the curtains and looked around and laughed.

'It's exactly the same' he grinned

Valkyrie rolled her eyes

'Yes' she said sarcastically 'all those times you climbed through my window to drag me of to get me killed' she sighed mockingly

'Nonsense, you walked down to the pier too' skulduggery grinned

Valkyrie laughed

'And all those times you climbed through my window to annoy me and keep me company' Valkyrie smiled said softly

'_You_ kept _me_ company' skulduggery smiled 'but now I don't have to climb through you window to annoy you because I live with you and we're married so that's the company problem sorted

'Yeah the only problem we have left now is getting into trouble with bad guys and saving the world- and getting killed while we're at it' Valkyrie giggled

'You forgot getting told of by Kenspeckle- but who cares about that- I get to annoy you for the next 800 yeas or so' skulduggery grinned.

Valkyrie sighed

'Oh the joys of life' she said sarcastically and then she yawned

'Come on- bed time' skulduggery smiled and took of his shirt and kicked of his trousers and turned of the light and climbed in beside her

'Skulduggery?' Valkyrie whispered with her back to him so he couldn't see her sneaky face

'Yes?' skulduggery whispered back- he knew what was coming

'Do you really really love me?' she whispered

'Yes, but not enough to let you use the reflection tomorrow' skulduggery laughed quietly and put his arm around her waist.

'Dam! I was getting so far! Pleeease??' Valkyrie begged

'You are my wife, and as a husband, it is my duty to make you suffer at least one day a year.'

'Why-eee?' Valkyrie whined

'Hush- they're your parents- its just one day and then we can spend Christmas with Tanith and ghastly and Olivia and Fletcher'

'I hate you'

'I know- now go to sleep'

'I don't want to sleep'

'Fine then'

And with that skulduggery started making jokes and hilarious comments about Angus. They spent the whole night giggling.

Little did they know that angus had been listening to everything………

**Oooooohhhhh wats gonna happen next???!!! Plz review and would you guys PLEASE update your stories????!!! I need to read some more random valduggery????!!!!**


	24. texans and tea

Chapter 24- Texans and tea bearers

Angus had decided to leave half way through the conversation. He was going to get revenge. He had grown tired of the man and his wife mocking him. He stalked out of the spare bedroom and tiptoed down the stairs and out the front door. He needed to get some fresh air to plan their end. The pier had enough light for him to see where he was going- but not enough light for people to see what he was doing. It was quiet as he strolled down the street facing the pier- all except for the faint rumbling sound that seemed to be getting closer to him. He paused to listen to it. It was definitely getting closer to him. All of a sudden the ground cracked in front of him and exploded in a mist of soil and tarmac. A man stood brushing himself of and cleaning his glasses. He put them back on. He was blonde- in his thirties maybe? He was wearing a suit and scuffed cowboy boots, he was quite good looking. A smirk crossed his face when he saw the terrified look on Angus' face. The new comer raised his head to smirk at the English man.

'well well well- if it isn't the lil' brats relatives?' the man said in a deep Texan drawl

'w-who are you?' stammered Angus

The Texan laughed

'Billy- ray sanguine- hitman deluxe and bearer of cruel and unusual punishments- at your service. And you are?'

'Uh- Angus edgley- you're a hitman?'

'Yes- and i'm on a mission- you haven't happened to see a dark haired girl around? Quite tall and walking around with a skeleton?'

Angus smiled

'I know exactly where they are- and I have a request for you'

'And that would be?'

'Let me help destroy them'

'Gladly'

'Excellent- how do you know them?'

'If you knew, you would run all the way back to England and take your tea with you- that girl is gonna pay- the skeletons a bonus'

'That guy has a strange name'

'Sure he does- that's his taken name- not his real one- the girls called valkyrie Cain'

'This is all too strange'

Sanguine laughed

'Man- when those two click their fingers- they can create a flame! There's a magic world out here man- and those two are part of it'

It took Angus a minuet to take this in

'And you power is travelling through the ground?'

'Yes indeedy'

Angus nodded slowly before speaking again

'Do you know how were going to catch them?'

'Nope- but I'll think of somethin- they always run head first into trouble anyway''

'They will probably walk down to the pier tomorrow- I'll try and lead them there- you just be ready to grab them'

'Sounds good- I'll be seein' ya'll tomorrow- say about 1ish?'

And with that- Billy-ray sanguine sunk into the ground with an evil grin on his face.


	25. probably not the best time to attack

25- Probably not the best time to attack.

When Valkyrie woke up it was 10.30. She didn't like getting up- especially if skulduggery was lying with his arms around her. She turned to him, and grinned when she saw he was awake. He grinned back

'Good morning' he said

'Hey- how long have you been awake?'

'About an hour- not long'

'And hour? That's long! Why didn't you go down stairs?'

Skulduggery shrugged

'I wanted to wait for you- did you sleep well?'

Valkyrie giggled

'I got three hours sleep and we spent the rest of that time mocking scapegrace and Angus' she grinned

'Do you not feel sorry for scapegrace sometimes?' skulduggery asked

They looked at each other.

'Nah' they said in unison and laughed

There was a knock on the door

'Come on you two!' Valkyries mother called 'it's a lovely day!' you two can walk down to the pier! Wrap up warm!'

'K mum!' Valkyrie called

Skulduggery got out of bed and opened the curtains

'Oh wow!' he laughed

'What? What is it?' Valkyrie squealed jumping out of bed and running to the window beside him. She looked out and grinned.

'I love snow!' skulduggery grinned

Valkyrie rolled her eyes

'I can imagine what Tanith is doing now' she giggled

They both imagined Tanith rolling around in the snow and giggling like a four year old.

Then skulduggery's phone rang.

Valkyrie answered it

'Hello?' Valkyrie asked

'It's snowing Val!' Tanith squealed

Valkyrie laughed

'Yeah I know- me and skul are looking out the window'

'It's so deep!' Tanith squealed 'Olivia loves it!'

Valkyrie put it on loudspeaker

'Hey Tanith!' skulduggery called

'Hey skulduggery! Oh my god it's snowing! Olivia loves it! When will you and Valkyrie be home?!' Tanith squealed

Skulduggery laughed

'Tonight- is ghastly there?' he asked putting his arms around Valkyrie

'Yeah he's!-'taniths yelped and ghastly laughed- he'd probably thrown a snowball at her.

'Hello? Skul?' ghastly said

'Hey ghastly- I was wondering…. Did you stay at taniths last night?' skulduggery asked and winked at Valkyrie who giggled

Ghastly hesitated

'No…..' he said eventually, dragging out the word

'Nice try ghastly' skulduggery laughed 'keep Olivia warm or I'll have to kill you'

'Sounds fair' ghastly laughed 'we'll see you tomorrow skul'

'Yeah! Tanith called 'then we can have a proper magic Christmas!

'That was a really bad joke Tanith!' Fletcher called from the background

'Oh god, is Fletcher there?' Valkyrie asked

'Yeah- he just turned up this morning'

'Oh hell- we'll talk to you later Tanith- bye Fletcher!' Valkyrie yelled and then hung up.

A split second later the phone rang again. Valkyrie answered it.

'Bye gorgeous' Fletcher said in a flirty voice and then hung up.

Skulduggery fell about laughing.

'Shut up, skulduggery- or I'll shackle you to Fletcher'

'Shutting up' skulduggery grinned and then pulled on a shirt and a pair of trousers.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and pulled on a pair of jeans and a hoodie.

Skulduggery put on a coat and then they both bounded down the stairs.

Valkyries parents and auntie and uncle were sitting in the kitchen. Her four cousins weren't there.

'Where's everyone got to?' Valkyrie asked

Her auntie rolled her eyes and pointed to the window over looking the front garden.

'Being four year olds' she said

Skulduggery and Valkyrie both looked out to see her cousins (two of them older than Valkyrie and the other who was 17) throwing snowballs at each other and acting like they were two.

Skulduggery and Valkyrie laughed

'I think we're pretty good at acting like four year olds as well aren't we steph?' skulduggery asked grinning at her.

Valkyrie nodded

'I think we should show them how it's done don't you?'

'Of course, shall we?'

'Certainly' Valkyrie giggled, curtsying and then skulduggery grabbed her hand and they bounded outside giggling.

Valkyries parents and auntie and uncle all rolled their eyes and laughed.

Valkyrie yelped as her cousin, rowan, threw a snowball at her.

'Your gonna pay for that' Valkyrie giggled and picked up a clump of snow as flakes started to fall from the sky.

The snow was very deep and it was freezing but Valkyrie loved it.

She yelped as another snowball hit her. Skulduggery fell to his knees laughing as Valkyries big cousin Megan stuffed snow down skulduggery's back. The snowball fight went on for a good hour and a half until Valkyrie started shivering and sneezing. They all went inside and Valkyrie and skulduggery got changed out of their cold clothes.

'You know what I think?' valkyrie asked putting her hand in skulduggery's as they went downstairs.

'What do you think?' skulduggery smiled

'I think we should go down to the pier'

'That sounds good' skulduggery grinned and then whispered in her ear 'I'll teach you how to walk on water'

Valkyrie laughed because he would.

They walked down to the pier hand in hand laughing at all the things they had said about scapegrace the night before.

Then skulduggery stopped and put his arms around her waist and she put her arms around his neck and skulduggery pressed his lips to hers.

All of a sudden the ground burst open and Billy-ray sanguine burst through and stood there watching them kiss for a moment before he cleared his throat loudly.

'Hey hey hey ya'll can stop kissin' for the moment please! This probably wasn't the best time to attack.' Sanguine shouted.

Valkyrie broke away from skulduggery and they were both about to attack when someone hit skulduggery on the back of the head and sanguine lunged at Valkyrie and hit her in the back. Skulduggery and Valkyrie both fell to the ground unconscious.

'That's that sorted' sanguine muttered brushing of his coat

'Are you sure this'll work?' Angus asked

'Of course it will- now who's that guy? Where's the skeleton?'

'Uh- that is the skeleton- he must've turned back into a human again because he's called skulduggery'

'Wow!' sanguine laughed 'the teacher and the student love each other?! This is rich! I mean there's only like 300 years difference between there ages!' sanguine laughed and then he grabbed skulduggery and Valkyrie by the wrists and began to sink into the ground.

'You know where to meet me?' sanguine asked

Angus nodded

'See you in five' Angus said and then sanguine and the detectives where gone

When Valkyrie woke up her back was aching- apart from that she was ok-well, apart from the fact she and skulduggery were tied to chairs facing Billy ray sanguine who was smirking at them both. Skulduggery was taunting him.

'Oh look! Cain's awake!' sanguine smiled

Skulduggery looked round and smiled at Valkyrie and then leaned in far enough to whisper something in Valkyries ear

Valkyrie smiled and nodded and then turned to sanguine.

'i'm not Cain anymore' she smirked and managed to move her hand enough to show sanguine the ring on her left index finger- skulduggery showed him the ring on his hand.

Sanguine looked at the rings and then laughed

'The teacher and the student?!' he laughed 'married?! To each other?!' that's rich!'

Valkyrie scowled and then smirked

'At least we're actually married- who would want anyone with no eyes?'

Skulduggery laughed

'Your gonna regret that pleasant' sanguine scowled and then hit Valkyrie across the face. She groaned. This was gonna be a long day. She slipped her hand into skulduggery's and sighed as sanguine started to threaten her and skulduggery started mocking him.

_Yep, this is gonna be a really long day_ she thought and then giggled at sanguines face when skulduggery called him a yank.


	26. Here Comes The Rescue Team

Chapter 26- heres comes the rescue team. Oh hell.

Tanith lay upside down on the sofa. She knew something was up. Fletcher walked into the room and raised an eyebrow.

'Uh…what are you doing?' he asked

Tanith sat up

'Fletcher, something's up, van and skul are in trouble. Again. Do you know how to work Bluetooth?'

'I suppose so....' Fletcher said and then he got out his phone.

'What do you want me to do?' h asked

'Link onto Val- if she's anywhere out of the ordinary- were going to get her.'

'Fair enough' Fletcher shrugged and then turned on his Bluetooth

5 minutes later he looked up

'She's uh- At a warehouse in the town square' Fletcher said

'Can you teleport me there?' Tanith asked putting on her coat and grabbing her sword.

'Sure I could try' he shrugged

'Great- ghastly! Were going to Dublin!' Tanith yelled

Ghastly walked into the room and put on his coat and then they both grabbed fletchers arm and the teleported

**Val and skulduggery's POV**

'Why do you want us?' Valkyrie asked

'You may have forgotten the endless taunting and the time you stole my razor?' sanguine sneered 'but I haven't'

'Yeah, I remember that- it was fun' Valkyrie smirked

'but your all grown up and beautiful now lil' darlin'- your gorgeous' sanguine smirked taking Valkyries face in his hands.

'Take your hands of her' skulduggery growled

Sanguine let go of Valkyrie face and raised an eyebrow.

'Over protective are we?' he smiled and then snatched up Valkyries right wrist and snapped. Valkyrie yelled in pain.

'Valkyrie!' skulduggery shouted and then snarled at sanguine

'Your gonna regret that yank' skulduggery snarled

'I'm sure I am' sanguine yawned and then started to wander around the warehouse.

'Yes!' skulduggery whispered and Valkyrie looked up to see Fletcher, Tanith and ghastly appear.

Valkyrie grinned and Fletcher and ghastly ran over and untied their ropes.

'Sword lady!' sanguine called in welcome to Tanith and then got out his straight razor.

Tanith lashed a kick into sanguines jaw and he grunted and fell to the floor.

Skulduggery stood up and eased Valkyrie into his arms and then they ran towards Fletcher.

Sanguine stood up and ran for skulduggery and Valkyrie. Skulduggery turned round to face him.

'This is for valkyrie' skulduggery snarled and then swung his fist into sanguines face. Then they all grabbed fletchers arm and teleported back to Gordon's mansion. Olivia looked up from her building blocks and grinned at them.


	27. sprained ankles and swearing trophies

**Um…yeah. I've not updated this story in a while…have I? **

**I've been distracted with my song fic, so now, im updating all my stories. I SWEAR…**

Chapter 27- sprained ankles and swearing trophies.

By Olivia's expression, Valkyrie new, that If Olivia could speak, she would be saying 'what. The. Fuck.'

Of course, if Valkyrie witnessed her father, her mother, who had a broken wrist and a limp, a woman with a sword, and a scarred guy appear in the living room with a teleporter randomly, valkyrie would say something along those lines as well…

'You left the baby here without anyone?' Valkyrie asked randomly

'Uh…yeah. Sorry Val' tanith said sheepishly

Valkyrie just sighed.

Skulduggery picked up Olivia and looked at her

'Tanith's very irresponsible, isn't she?' skulduggery asked Olivia

Olivia gave her father a look, that Valkyrie was sure babies were meant to be incapable of giving.

It said says-you- talk-about-being-irresponsible-how-do-you-explain-your-wifes-broken-wrist-then-father-dearest?

'You're too much like your mother' skulduggery muttered to Olivia, acknowledging that look too.

Fletcher teleported everyone to kenspeckles to get valkyrie fixed up.

Grouse peeked his head round the corner of one of the labs and sighed.

_Just fabulous _he thought.

'What've you got yourself into now, Cain? Or maybe it was pleasant, I suspect it was pleasant, wasn't it?' kenspeckle sighed

Valkyrie smiled

'Hey kenspeckle. And it's Valkyrie _pleasant_. Not Cain anymore. And I suppose, you could blame it on skulduggery, if you want.' Valkyrie said, turning to look at skulduggery sweetly

Skulduggery pouted.

'Im not responsible for this one!' he said defensively, narrowly ignoring the urge to stomp his foot.

'You're not responsible at all, detective' kenspeckle sighed 'this way, my dear' he said to Valkyrie

Valkyrie limped down the corridor, pissed because she'd done something to her ankle and she had no idea how.

She swore under her breath

'I hope you didn't get that language from skulduggery' kenspeckle said disapprovingly

Skulduggery snickered

'Honestly, if they gave out trophies for swearing, skulduggery would have about 12 now' Valkyrie said sweetly

Skulduggery scowled

'And how is Olivia?' kenspeckle asked

'Oh she's fine' skulduggery said hugging Olivia close

'I hope you're not bringing her onto any roofs' kenspeckles said

'What?' skulduggery asked.

'I know how much you two stand on roofs. But if you must insist on standing on a death trap, do not bring your child up there too' kenspeckle said sternly

Skulduggery looked shifty and Valkyrie tried not to smile

'now my dear, what in the world did you get into this time?'

' skulduggery and I got in a bit of a mess with sanguine'

'Ah. Him. I have a good mind to severely hurt him'

' So does half the continent'

' hmmm'

'thanks for doing this by the way'

' you are very welcome valkyrie. no matter how much I dislike your relationship with mr pleasant. Actually no matter how much I dislike mr pleasant, do not mistake that with a problem with you, my dear'

'Thank you'

Kenspeckle passed his hand over valkyries ankle and the cut sealed up. He stitched it up and smeared it with a blue cream, which smelled vaguely of sulphur. He did the same with her wrist, and wrapped it with a think white bandage.

'There, good as new. You'll probably be back by the end of the day, no doubt wanting me to stick you back together'

'And you can do it, right?'

'As long as I don't run out of glue, of course'

Valkyrie smiled and hopped down from the bed.

Skulduggery came through the door holding Olivia, who was poking his face, and trying to look completely bemused, but actually trying not to laugh.

' kenspeckle, will you PLEASE tell my child to stop poking me'

' don't stop poking him' kenspeckle sighed, without looking up

Skulduggery pouted

'we best be going now' he said, taking valkyries waist

Kenspeckle glared at skuludggerys hand, then sighed

' very well, keep them out of harms way, detective' he said sternly

'Of course' skulduggery sighed

'And make sure renn doesn't kill himself!' he called after them

' pfft. PLEASE. As if I was danger prone' Fletcher said, acting cocky.

Of course, this act was ended when he walked straight into a wall…


	28. No Way

**Ok. I stole the title. I did, but it's a really good title. AND a really good story. **

**So therefore…This is dedicated NerdySkeleton, for all the utterly awesome stories that have kept me occupied and amused for hours on end :D I love them (; Thank you! **

**I, er, haven't updated this in a while… Skulduggery is not human, as it may suggest in this, I just think 'Lips' sounds far better than 'Teeth'… **

Chapter 28- To Seduce a Skeleton

"Pleeeeeeease?" Valkyrie whined, wrapping her arms around Skulduggery's waist, staring up at him with big eyes.

Skulduggery stared back down at her with his big, black eye sockets.

"No, absolutely not."

'Whyyyeee?'

"Because it's dangerous and very high and I'd have an anxiety attack if you went on that thing."

"You can drag me off to get killed but I can't go on that?"

"Yep- exactly."

"You're not scared are you?"

"I'm scared for_ you."_

'Come with me! Pleeeeeeease?"

"No way," Skulduggery turned to walk away from the death trap, but Valkyrie caught his hand and brought him back, unleashing the full force of her puppy eyes.

"But you love me," she said quietly, pouting.

Skulduggery sagged a little, then stood up straight again.

"I love you- but not enough to let you on that," he said.

"I'm begging you!"

'Nope. No. Nada. Nine. No way. Nah."

Valkyrie sighed with exasperation and then smiled. She reached up to put her arms around his neck but Skulduggery grabbed her wrists, trying to restrain her.

"Oh god, please don't."

"Tough," Valkyrie smirked and pressed her lips to Skulduggery's. She knew it was unfair. But what Skulduggery called the 'Death Trap', looked so much fun…

Skuduggery groaned in defeat and kissed her back, still holding her wrists back. She broke away, grinning.

"_Please_, Skulduggery?"

Skulduggery groaned.

"Fine," he sighed, moving and putting his arm around her shoulders, "you're cruel Valkyrie."

"Yes. Yes I am," Valkyrie smiled and then turned and dragged Skulduggery to the roller coaster…


End file.
